A Dying Species

Unless you live under a rock shaped piece of plastic, (or don't watch French television) you would know about the dying species called the 浴槽なめる人 or Akaname that are dying at an alarming rate. First it was Ed McMahon, then Farrah Fawcett, next we lost Michael Jackson, and most recently Billy Mays. We need to discover the explanation for these unexpected losses so we need you, our loyal readers to go out and steal the autopsy reports on these 4 distinguished/extinguished stars. Then we can make another post after the media reports come out and claim that we discovered it first!